Bonsai Kitten

This is a Christmas present for someone, and I think that this totally rules. I thought the whole freakout over the BonsaiKitten website in the early 2000s was freaking hilarious and I've kind of wanted to do something like this ever since. I finally got a chance to, and so here are some step-by-step instructions for building your own bonsai kitten

1. Buy a cheap stuffed cat, preferably one that is a little squishy, and as fuzzy as you can possibly get it. Buy a jar (plastic jars are easiest) that the kitty will barely fit into.

2. Stuff the toy cat in the jar. Make sure you can close the lid. Once the cat is in the jar, mark the areas where you want to cut holes (for instance, I wanted ears, face and tail sticking out, but I also wanted fuzzy pet-able patches), remove toy before cutting.

3. Cut out holes - this will depend on what your jar is made of. Glass jars require a drill with a glass bit. I used fairly thin plastic, so I was able to saw through with a serrated knife on the bottom and cut holes with kitchen shears in other areas, but if you have thicker plastic, you may need a small saw.

4. File or melt the edges of your holes. I used a hot glue gun to melt down the edges, but this isn't a great idea 'cause I'm still kinda high on melting-plastic fumes.

5. Put the toy back in the jar and pull it into the position you want - I wanted its nose sticking out, so I made sure to pull that in place first (as a side note on the size of the thing, the toy is actually about twice the size of the jar, so positioning it properly required a wide opening at the bottom of the jar) before I pulled its ears through the holes, then crammed the rest in before putting the cap on with the tail sticking out through a hole cut in the lid.

6. Fluff the fur - pull as much fur as possible through each hole and fluff it - this should hide any rough edges and make the thing nice to play with, even though it's a perversion of plushie nature. Try pinching a bit of the actual fabric (not fur, fabric) through each hole then jiggling it so more fur pops up around it. This also allows you to more firmly root the toy in place.

7. Pull the tail through the lid (if you want to) and seal the jar. I did this with hot glue, but superglue or wax work just as well.

8. Enjoy the hell out of your sick new toy.